Waking up on the third and final day, I was struggling to crawl out of bed after a crazy day one and even crazier day two. Fortunately, there was coffee still in the pot, even at noon, the Reds had a day game that was being televised, so I figured a nice lunch spot with some fried food, unlimited drinks and a place to enjoy the game would suit me fine.
After a cup of coffee, a quick handful of brownie bites and a 6-inch slice of the strawberry/cheese coffee cake, it was out to find my lunch destination. I settled on Ruby Tuesday's, and before I knew it, found myself at the bar with a Diet Coke in hand, the Reds game on in-front of me and an entire menu at my disposal. The theme of getting my "red meat fix" continued as I settled on the Bleu Cheese Burger with BBQ sauce, onion rings and unlimited fries on the side. It took a while to come out, and 3 Diet Coke's later, I was starving (shockingly so after how much I'd consumed). That burger came out, medium well, and it didn't last long. Nor did the plate of fries. Or the second plate of fries (did I mention they are unlimited?). Knowing that it was my bill to take care of, and that the Reds were getting trounced, I rolled out of there around 3 PM and decided it was time to hit the coffee shop to see what desserts they had left and to fire up the laptop.
Arriving at the coffee shop, I didn't see any fresh cinnamon rolls, but I did dive into the leftover batch of the morning muffins, and had myself one of those funky green (but delicious) pistachio muffins. Combined that with a cookies and cream milkshake, I was set, at least until dinner. I sat there for about an hour, sweating like a mad man, but content, and despite what was around 7,000 calories in a five hour span, I didn't feel overwhelmed. Plenty of room for a daytime snack, huge dinner and one final dessert to round things out.
Fast forward to that evening, I popped a quick shower, pounded a Diet Coke and snacked on a Ho-ho, apple pastry and some addicting granola they had purchased at the store the day before (with pistachios, almonds, dried cranberries and a maple syrup finish). Then, it was off to the best meal of the trip, a nice Marina restaurant complete with half-off appetizers, seafood platters and unlimited drinks. I couldn't wait.
Arriving at the marina, we were immediately greeted by the waiter who was very eager to let us know it was half-off appetizers until 8PM. Of course, being only 7 or so, the group decided it would be smart to order 5 of them for 7 people. I settled on my own, the deep fried banana peppers, and the table ordered chicken quesadillas, tortilla chips and queso, deep fried mushrooms and bread. After hammering home the peppers, an ice cold diet coke, I made my rounds in sampling the other apps. It was then time to order, and I went to the ultimate. It was called the Captain's Platter.
The Captain's platter featured deep fried shrimp, fried clam strips, an 8-ounce fried cod fillet and a fried and breaded stuffed crab shell with crab meat and stuffing. Sides of a baked potato with sour cream, butter and sweet creamed corn, life was good. Oh, and the best part, a nice hearty slice of cornbread. Another Diet Coke later, the meal arrived and I was in heaven...at least for 4 or 5 bites. Then, it hit me. I finally realized I wasn't going to be able to finish. I ate everything I could, but ended up boxing up half of the cod fillet and half of the baked potato. I knew things had just about run its course, and I also knew that it was almost time to end this thing. I figured nothing better to end it with than my favorite dessert, and it always has been since I was a kid...Dairy Queen.
We stopped at DQ after the trip back from the Marina, and I ordered the large cookie dough Blizzard. This was always my childhood favorite, and despite everything, it never tasted so good. Although DQ was about an 8-minute drive from the cabin, that bad boy was gone before we got home, and after a little relaxing and playing games with the family, they decided to have their dessert, which consisted of strawberry pudding cake and ice cream. Not wanting to be left out, I decided to have a monster slice of the cake (I passed on the ice cream) and also added one more piece of carrot cake just for good measure. Again, as the night came to an end, we finished with a game of dominoes, another Diet Coke, a Vitamin Water and a couple slices of ham before finally going to bed.
As I retired to the bed that night, very early at that (around midnight), I made a quick stop to really look in the mirror for the first time, and I have to say, it was shocking. First off, my whole body was swolen. My face, my wrists, my ankles, my calves, everything. I noticed a gut (not just a full belly, but a gut) for the first time in forever, and I could notice visible changes almost everywhere. Even these didn't alarm me too much, at least not as much as how badly I felt. I was tired, but again, jittery and in a lot of pain. My calves had cramps, my sides felt like they had ice picks in the side of them, and the headache I had I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. The only thing I could do is sleep and hope things improved from here on out, and knew that tomorrow started the next phase of the experiment. As much as I enjoyed consuming whatever I wanted and fulfilling all of my cravings, this was the first time I realized that it really wasn't even close to being worth how I felt then and how I knew I'd feel going forward.
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